On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
