there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Just high enough for therapy.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
