I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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