We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
