When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
