literally had 100 drinks last night.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
