I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
