She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize