No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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