bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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