And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
