Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
