R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
