I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
