he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
