She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
