my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
