is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
