Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
