So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
