When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
