Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
