What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
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