she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
