this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
All the doctor said was why
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
