D3 body, D1 cock
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I see more hoeing in ur future
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