Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
