I want you more than these girls want KFC
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
