i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize