2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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