new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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