i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
