Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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