I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
