We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
i think im in europe. pls send help
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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