I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
