There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I need a beard to bite.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
