I don't usually arrange sex via text message
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
