Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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