if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
