sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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