Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
