Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
