Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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