At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
