I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize