I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
