She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
