Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
