I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
