the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
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