I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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