you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
