i just wanna soil my oats bro
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
