There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
