hell yes lets make some ravioli
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
