Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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