This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize