I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
