i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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