she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
In America we eat man semen.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
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