Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
